Responsibility

     A year ago today, I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. Savvy's health had been unfortunately deteriorating due to melanomas and  it ended up affecting her neurologically. I don't want to rehash the details, as I am doing good so far by not dropping a tear though I'm sure I will, but I made the decision to had her put down the next day because her quality of life was severely suffering(insert tear). I had never put my own horse down before and unfortunately, Savvy would be my first, but not my last. Savvy was alot of my "firsts" and I will be in her debt forever. It's hard having animals in your family to know when the time is right to help them cross over. If we are lucky, they will peacefully pass in their sleep but most of the time we aren't that fortunate. It is our responsibility as humans to not let them suffer, but that's very hard to do. We need to ask ourselves if we are helping them, when they are sick or hurt, because it will make them feel better or make ourselves feel better. Emotion definitely gets in the way of logic and "the right thing to do" and it is much easier to make a decision when it's not your animal. 
     I also have a very hard time with death, which is part of life's circle. The older I get, the more I am faced with it. Matt and I have lost three family members in just over a year, Joleen, Savvy and Peanut. Each one has been hard and we know that we will eventually lose Evie, Pal, Ebony, Owen, Gandalf and all of other future furry family members. Then there is of course our human friends and family that we will lose, but that's a topic for another blog.
     I know for a fact that animals deal with death very much like humans do as I witnessed first hand with Evie. She was totally depressed and sunk within herself for many months after Savvy's death. She would stand on the other side of the fence where Savvy was buried for weeks on end until she slowly started to come out of her funk. She has come A LONG way in a year and those closest to us can attest to it. As my friend Lindsey said, "Evie is having more good days now than bad", which is so true, both mentally and physically. 
     I want to tell you a story that happened to me a few weeks ago with Evie and Savvy. I was very sick but felt the need to take Evie on a hack as I needed the fresh air and we both needed the attention. I tacked her up,which about killed me, and got on. I told her that today she was totally in charge. Anyone that knows Evie knows that she and I have a constant struggle with "who's the boss". All I wanted to do was go for a walk but she needed to take care of me for once as I have been taking care of her for the past year. We normally have a routine by getting on in the arena and going out to a pasture and taking a long walk before we start with whatever I have planned. She marched out, my hand was on the buckle of the reins, and started walking where have never walked on the property. She went behind the house, by the muck pile and around the back of the property to where Savvy had been lain to rest. If I weren't hopped up on cold meds and home alone, I would of gone all the way back there, but I know for a fact that she wanted to go visit Savvy. I discounted the thought for a minute but realized that she knew exactly where she was going. I turned her around to go back to our original hacking spot and she tried her hardest to turn around and go back to Savvy. We have not gone back their together yet but this weekend she and I will go back there together to pay our respects to our sister and friend(insert tear). Those that think animals, especially horses, don't have feelings are in denial. They truly are magical creatures and we are blessed to have them in our lives. I was blessed to have Savvy in my life for seven years. There's not a day that goes by that Evie and I don't miss her.
     Remember to be good to your furry family members and do the right thing when it's their time if they need your help. If you are worried that you won't know when, they will let you know. 

In loving memory of my beautiful Savoir Faire(insert tear)

1994-Oct 31, 2012

.....that very small silver lining....can you see it?

     I'm sure you've had those days where you wanted to re-do, start over or just fast forward to the next day. We've all had them, sometimes more often than others. You can call it bad luck, luck of the draw or just the way the universe has it set out to happen. I went through a period in my life that I felt like almost every day was a bad day. I didn't want to get out of bed and face it and I didn't want to go to bed because when I would wake up, it would be there staring me in the face.

     When I lived in Montana, I began to sell Arbonne natural skin care products. My "up-line" gave me a book called "The Secret". If you haven't read it yet, it's really a modern day "Power of Positive Thinking" and if you haven't read that either, you need to get your hands on one of them. I read "The Secret" and felt good about life for a while. It would happen that I would find that book a few years later when I truly needed it.

     During my difficult years, I thought everyone was out to get me and nothing would go my way....well, that's just it! It wasn't going to go my way if I kept thinking like that! What a concept!!! I started one day of thinking of just one thing about the day that didn't go wrong. At first I started off that I had a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in, the basic needs that we need to survive. Slowly, my positive thinking would take over half of my day and eventually my entire day. I had a whole new outlook on life and what do you know, my luck changed! But really, it's not luck. I was getting back what I was putting in. I was putting positive energy into the universe and in return, it rewarded me with positive energy or "good luck".

     Now, whenever I have a situation that happens because I rarely have an entire bad day anymore, I try to think of the silver lining, no matter how small it is. I had a situation happen on Sunday that wasn't ideal. Honestly, once it was over, I cried and cried, more because of how I handled the situation, NOT because of the actual situation. It took me a bit but I had to really look hard and have help from some great friends to find that silver lining. Once I found it, I realized how true their comments were about what happened. It made me laugh a bit that I had gotten so upset but I looked back to a year ago in how I would of handled it. 

     So take a minute in a bad situation to find that silver lining EVERY DAY....."I didn't kill my co-worker today" or "I didn't flip that guy off who cut me off" or even as simple as "I woke up today....period!"

     Here are some inspirational quotes for you to ponder over.
 
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."-Abraham Lincoln

"Appreciate every little beautiful moment in every day of your life. Give it a try and you'll see the world from a different perspective." -Thea Kristine May

A Tribute to Working Moms

     There has been a lot of posts, articles and blogs that I have seen on FB about stay at home moms and everyone give a shout out to the stay at home moms. I'm not here to argue and say that stay at home moms don't work, because they surely do. They might not get a paycheck and pay taxes but they surely do work. I'll give them that and that is a job I would never want to have.
     I'll be the FIRST to admit that I hate all types of house work...cooking, cleaning, laundry, you name it! When Matt and I moved in together I  made it very clear that I'm not Betty Crocker and I'm a horrible house keeper. Over two years later after living together, he will definitely agree with me. And no, I don't really plan on changing. We both do the things around the house that needs to be done but I don't thrive on a neat house, much less a spotless one and thank goodness he doesn't require one. Unless I could afford someone to come in and clean my house every week, it's not an easy task to keep up after 4 fuzzy animals that live in the house with us, so we are comfortable with the occasional tumbleweed of hair that floats by us on a regular basis. But let's not get me too much off topic because I want to give a shout out to working moms.
     Again, let me say that stay at home moms truly work hard but I want to focus on the working mom and we can even use my mom for an example. Fortunately, my mom had a great job with a flexible schedule, so did my dad. My mom worked because she had to and really because she loved her job and career. Even to this day, after working the SAME JOB for over 30 years, she still loves her job. If you didn't know, my mom is a speech pathologist. She gets to work with undergraduate and graduate students at the university in helping them become SLPs as well as see her own patients, both minors and adults. Students change, patients change, which keeps things new and fresh for her. I admire her for working in a profession for over 40 years and still enjoying it.
     Even with my mom working, she and my dad provided home cooked meals for us 5-6 nights a weeks and almost every evening we ate as a family. She was at every volleyball match, horse show, softball game and swim meet that I played in. She was home with us at night and on the weekends. She was there when we really needed her AND she worked. Honestly, even if they were financially able to, my mom would of worked part time, because she wanted to.
     There are so many women out there that have to work but then there are women who truly want a working career, no matter what it is and they make it happen if they want a career and a family. My mom was one of those. I"m not sure if I ever have told her this, but watching my mom work, gave me a work ethic and showed me that you really can do it all and have it all but you can't expect it to be handed to you. But the most important thing she taught me was to always ask because the worst thing someone can tell you is "No"!! Who has heard me say that?! ;-)
     I'm sure my mom learned from her mom about a work ethic as my grandma always worked as well. Even my paternal grandmother always had a job, as a butcher until she retired and went back to school in her 50s and became an nursing assistant.  It gives me comfort knowing that the important women in my family worked.
     It also gives you financial comfort. We you get married, you hope that it is forever but sometimes it doesn't work out. If it doesn't work out, you know that you can support yourself. Unfortunately, my mom and I had to be on our own after marriages not working and it has given us comfort knowing that we can take care of ourselves financially.
     So ladies, if you are a working mother, no matter if you have to be or because you want to be, know that you are showing your children important values and be proud of what you are teaching them. Thanks Mom, Grandma Monty and Grandma Rosie for your amazing attitudes and love that you gave me, even while you were working.

 This is my favorite picture of the three of us though my mom doesn't like it for some reason. 

circa 2005?

 Not the best of Grandma but taken in 2009

April 2013

Thankful for the small things!

Every day when I wake up and when I go to bed, I try really hard to think of all the things I am thankful for. Some people may call that praying but I'm not fond of that word, so I call it different things depending on who I am speaking with and what time of day it is whether I say reflecting or sending positive thoughts or energy. Whatever you want to call it and whoever you want to "talk to", in my mind it's all the same thing. Some people call themselves religious but I consider myself spiritual as long as you have faith in something or someone. I don't need to go to church to be spiritual and know there is a higher power in our universe and some people do. I know that I have felt closer to a higher power in many other places than I have ever felt in a church. So off of my soap box....

The first thing I always think to myself is that I am thankful for a bed to sleep in. I know that sounds silly but I get to sleep on a Temperpedic and there are some people out there that don't have a bed at all. I always try to be thankful for food, healthcare, a good job, my health, etc but there are so many things that I am thankful for...But one of the main things I am always thankful for is my family. Yes, my parents, my brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, etc and of course MATT and My Furry Fuzz Balls! I don't know what I would do without them. Here is a picture of our recent family photo shoot, which we had a lot of fun with thanks to Kristen King. Check out her blog at www.kristenione.com.

Always remember to be thankful for every little thing you have no matter how big or small!

The food....

     So we are at the end of the first day of our conference at work and the food was A-MAZ-ING as I mentioned before. Being with my co-workers today re-confirms that I work with some A-MAZ-ING people! We all get along, work well together, compliment each other and even bicker like brothers and sisters. I think it was very successful first day. I wish I had a picture of all of us but thanks for being awesome co-workers Becky, Kristen, Jerome, Amy, Susan, Stephanie and Rachel. I may not have gotten a picture of my awesome peeps but here is a picture of our awesome caterer and their decoration for us today in the afternoon snack.

Bring on the Food!

     The next two days will be long days at work as we have a very important conference being hosted in our building. Thankfully, I work with some amazing people and we all have our important parts in this conference. This is the third year that we have hosted this conference  and each year we get better. The days are long, very long but the one thing that keeps us going is THE FOOD!
     We use a phenomenal caterer that not only has great food but great service and knows us so well that they bring us To-Go boxes. Now that's what I call service! We will be having a morning break, lunch and afternoon break on Thursday followed by a BBQ dinner at The Chitwoods home and then morning break and lunch on Friday. Even though we are all tired and want to go home, the food is AM-A-ZING!! Southern BBQ, cobbler, the works....the amount of calories that we ingest over a 32 hour period is ridiculous but it's worth it! At least I'll get a work out in before the BBQ on Thursday.
     On a complete opposite note, Kristen King, who photographed our family photo shoot texted me a few pictures last night. They are sooooo good! I can't wait to share them out to people. She took over 1,000 pictures, no lie! First she did the dogs and me, then Evie and me, then the dogs, Evie and me, then the dogs, Evie, Matt and me and finally, we took all the animals away and took some of just Matt and me. I don't know if my mom is going to read this but I hope all of my grammar was correct Mom, as she is still correcting my grammar at 35. I try hard, but I always get confused on who comes first in sentences. Anyway, look soon for some super fun pictures. I had her take a very special one, but didn't tell her because I would start crying. She took a picture of Evie and me with the last pair of shoes that Savvy wore hanging over a fence rail. I'm very anxious to see those. Matt even had a good time as we did some silly pictures as well....bahahaha, to those that know! 
     I can't get in both a workout and work Evie tonight, so I'm choosing some quality time with my pony and then to bed early.

I can't wait to tell you about the huge amount of heartburn that I will be getting from my ridiculous caloric intake but man, it's worth it. Kristen, Amy, Becky, Jerome, Stephanie, Rachel and Susan will all agree with me!

A different approach

     I'm all for alternative medicine for both myself and our animals. Matt is as well since he's allergic to almost everything. I'm pretty good about taking my vitamins to make sure I'm not deficient in anything but sometimes your body needs more than some additional vitamins and supplements. 
     I was diagnosed in the summer of 2013 with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome....say WHAT?! Exactly! I was having a lot of numbness in my left side due to an artery being pinched up against my first rib. The specialist that I went to wanted to remove part of my first rib.....say WHAT?! Exactly! I chose to go an alternative route, massage therapy. Yeah, well, it's not all oooo's and aahhhh's that you think, my therapist literally kicks my butt and most of it is very painful but it's worth it. The first 6-8 weeks I was going almost every week and then every two weeks and then once a month. I now maintain it every 6 weeks or so. And what do you know, I haven't had any symptoms for over 8 months now. So when the Dr. says, let's cut-cha open...try another route.
     I also use osteopathy and more recently, massage therapy on Evie. Lord knows, she needs all the help she can get. I was even lucky enough to win a Reiki session for Evie. Check out Martha Holcomb and Equine Wellness Therapy http://hollybrookappaloosasllc.com/equine-wellness/
 I've had Reiki performed on me and it was quite intense! Evie thought it was quite spectacular as well.
     With every think that is going on with healthcare right now, be willing to try new approaches for both you and your animals. I know that Matt and I try to eat and live healthy as much as we can but sometimes those dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme or that large pizza NEEDS to be eaten. I take the liberty for both Matt and me and eat all of it because you know a boy's gotta watch his figure;-)

Live healthy and work out but eat pancakes, not rice cakes!
Off to my massage!

Life Lessons

     I'm sure about half of the people that know me think of me as "the girl that has horses", not just Beth Bengala, the most awesome girl EV-A! And that's ok, I don't mind it. People that have horses tend to be a bit different, whether you want to admit it or not, we are! So if you are a horse person and think you aren't different, well, you are surely in denial! But we are different in many ways, not just because we live and breathe horses, but we usually can handle life situations better than other people.  Though, there is something magical about being a horse owner or someone who rides horses or leases a horse or calls themselves a horse trainer or instructor. If you truly "get" what is means to be completely invested in your horse, then you will understand this blog more than others.

     Horses are the most humbling creatures on this earth, in my opinion. I, myself, have a very complicated horse and those that  know me can agree with me 100%. The lessons Evie and Savvy(rest her soul) have taught me I could of never learned in a book, by taking a class or even learning from Mom and Dad. 

     Growing up I had zero patience and no tolerance for others, which was often a topic of discussion by my parents. My parents would say, "Beth, you need to have more patience and be tolerant of others." I would ask them why but they could never give me an answer that I wanted to hear. Having two thoroughbred mares has taught me how to have patience with others(sometimes;-)With people you could always find a quick fix or a way around the problem to get to the answer faster. This is not the case with horses. A wise woman once told me and continues to tell me on a regular basis, "the slower you go, the faster you'll get there". When I first heard that, I thought she was mad! But by being a horse owner and rider, it finally made sense to me one day. I couldn't rush anything with my two horses because it usually backfired and  just when I was two steps forward, we would take three steps back. By learning to have patience and take things slow, I was able to overcome many hurdles in my riding and in my life. 

     Funny thing is that, you don't even know that horses are affecting your every day life until one day it smacks you in the face and you realize how your reactions are different than they used to be or how you are more tolerant of others. Horses keep you in check of reality when you think you are on top of the world just to make sure you are paying attention. 

     Even though I would love to have more patience overall with others, I have come leaps and bounds compared to what I used to be and I truly feel that it's not because I have gotten older but because of my relationship with horses, especially with my two girls, Evie in particular. So to all of my horse friends out there, take the time to reflect on what your horses have taught you, whether it be patience, accepting of others, humility, love or loss and go and thank them for their magic that no other creature on this earth has!

Evie, the one who keeps me in check with reality! 

     

...but this blog is for you!

So one of my best friends, Blaire Cannon Nichols, has been harassing me about blogging again....:-) but I do enjoy it. It's the time that I don't have. But this blog is for you Blaire!

We've been super busy in the Bengala/Young household as always, sometimes Matt and I are like ships passing in the night. Some people may not like this kind of relationship but when Matt and I do get to spend time together, it's amazing! I think some couples take each other's time for granted when they get to see their significant other all the time but Matt and I are together we have each other's full attention. It's hard to maintain a relationship by text message and phone but we are able to connect with each other most times of the day, so even if I don't really see him, we still know what is going on with each other. 

Almost two weekends ago, we got to take a short trip up to Cedar Mountain, NC for some good friends of ours wedding, Blaire Cannon & Zach Nichols. I luckily was a bridesmaid for Blaire. Blaire originally asked me to be a bridesmaid last year and I told her no but that I would do a reading or something else within the ceremony. I guess I just felt too old for that kind of stuff or some silly reason. Thankfully,  Blaire called me back a few months after I rejected her proposal;-) and asked me again and I said yes. I can't tell you how thankful I am that she called me back because I was so honored to be part of that wedding!!! The love that she and Zach have for each other just gushes! It was the most laid back and non-formal wedding I have ever been to and it was perfect! It was held at Camp High Rocks where the two of them met when they were counselors. You couldn't of asked for a more perfect setting and day! So thank you Blaire, from the bottom of my heart for asking me a 2nd time! I would of truly regretted not being part of your wedding. 

Matt fished Friday & Saturday while we set up. He was in heaven and was in need of this R&R time!

Beautiful lake at Camp High Rocks 

Blaire & a bridesmaid! 

Awesome bridal party! 

Blaire made all of the scarves that the bridesmaids were wearing. All hand painted silk scarves, each different for the individual. 

Me and my handsome man! 

Another great think about being one of Blaire's bridesmaids is she told all of us to wear a black dress. So we picked whatever we wanted, whatever style, material, whatever jewelry & shoes. 

Made things less stressful. 

She was beautiful like a goddess! Her dress was perfect for her! Loved it! 

The handsome groom, Zach! 

Having a little fun with the groom!

Unfortunately, it was back to reality way too soon after the wedding but such is life. It was good to get home and see our furry critters and turtle. Which by the way, TURTLE IS A GIRL!! You don't even want to know how the heck I found that out, but yep, Turtle is a girl!

This weekend, my supervisor from work, Kristen King, is coming over to do a photo shoot with Matt, me and our animals. Should make for a very interesting time as Kristen has never photographed animals before. Trying to get one horse and two dogs all in sync will be fun. No cats or turtle for pic but be on the look out for some funny family pics.

Til next time.....Rock on!

The simple life

I get all pumped about writing on my blog, write a few posts and then life happens and I get distracted and don't have time for it. I figured this time I would ease back into with things in my life that make me happy....simple things! There was a time in my life when I lived without ALOT of what we think are necessities such as cable and internet and it made me realize how simple life can be, we just  have to open our eyes, mind and our hearts to really see how lucky we are to have so many wonderful things in our life. Even though they drive me crazy alot of times, my animals help me see all of the wonderful things in life that are truly simple! A kind word, a pat on the back and even the tone of your voice. Here are some pictures of things, animals and people that make me  happy!

Light of the Evenstar "Evie"

 Fried Green Tomatoes

 Friends

 Matt, his guitar and our dogs

 Farm life 

 My man

The view!

.....no more Turtle

Two days in a row, let's see how long I can keep this up. Let me first start off by saying how I love how flexible my job is, though some people really enjoy that 8-5 job....I would go nuts! Some days I do work a regular work day but then there are days when I have to work a late event so I don't have to come in until after lunch, which equals more pony time:) Though, Matt probably wishes it was more cleaning time. I am trying hard by spending 10-15 minutes a night doing some time of "chore" that isn't animal related. 

Anyway, let's talk about Turtle. As I mentioned in my last blog, Turtle has a pimped out 50 gallon tank with a waterfall, large rocks, small rocks, lilypad, sticks, moss and a heat lamp...like I said, pimped out!!  I fed Turtle yesterday around 5:30am with the rest of the critters and when I got home he was GONE! OK, how does a turtle disappear out of a 50 gallon tank. Well, unknown to me, I guess he had been missing since around 9am when Matt got up and went to feed him again and he was gone. As I am freaking out over the turtle missing, I ask him why he didn't tell me....all I got was a look from him telling me "this is why I didn't tell you earlier" :) I guess I was freaking out just a bit over a turtle. I've never owned a reptile in my life and have never liked reptiles but he was my turtle that I saved so I guess I'm a bit attached. Hee Hee!! Well, this still didn't solve the problem of where Turtle went. I went through every scenario...did he crawl out, no, the tank is too tall; did a cat eat him, no, there is no place for them to jump up on to get to the tank; did a dog eat him, no, because the tank would be in millions of pieces on the floor; or did someone come in the house between 6:30-9am and steal him? Ok, that is just absurd! But yes, I did think it out loud and Matt gave me another "that's absurd" look because who in their right mind would come in to steal Turtle. Ok, ok....I'm still freaking out because now I think he is dead!

Sooooo...I made Matt put on gloves and tear that tank apart, literally. He took out every rock and stick and then he started taking out the moss.....and there was Turtle that looked just like the moss....good job mother nature as camouflage really does work!!! That dang on turtle popped his head out of his shell and had a seriously pissed off look on his face as in, "why are you waking me up?"  He totally pulled a Houdini on us! Then I got mad because I was so frantic about a turtle....alas, but he is my turtle. So Turtle has a new name other than Turtle....we have decided to name him Harry Houdini, just Harry for short and he is no longer Turtle. I will post a picture of his pimped out tank soon because it really is pimped out!

I just wanted to post this awesome picture I took, not sure when, of our beautiful NC sunsets!

Until next time.....be excellent to each other!

I know, I know! It's been months and months and months since I last blogged. My good friend Blaire Cannon has convinced me to start writing again....so here I am. I'm going to keep this one short and sweet as it has been too long and it would take hours for me to catch up on everything that has happened in the past five months. 

Matt has a new job as a butcher in a real meat shop....it's a little Texas Chain Saw Massacre but he enjoys the work and it's only 10 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE!!! Lucky!! He also got a new car, a Buick "Le Sabercat" which saves him millions of dollars a month in gas. He is loving having almost 10 hours a week of his life back by not being in the car to and from Greenville so that means more time in the garden for him!! Overall, he is super happy, which makes me super happy!

I am in my current job for just over 2 years now and am still enjoying it. I am still teaching some riding lessons and have just been credentialed to start teaching as an adjunct professor at Mount Olive College. Super excited about this opportunity as the schedule would be around my job at ECU. 

We are down to eight animals now and have no interest, or money, to keep up with our "nine animals is enough" status but are happy with the seven furry critters and one reptile that we have. Matt has totally pimped out a 50 gal tank for Turtle. Yes, the turtle's name is Turtle...not too creative on that one. It has a water fall, live foliage, rocks, sticks and a heat lamp. It's truly bad ass!! I want to live in the turtle tank!!

Til next time....be excellent to each other!

Xmas party 2012