Responsibility

     A year ago today, I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. Savvy's health had been unfortunately deteriorating due to melanomas and  it ended up affecting her neurologically. I don't want to rehash the details, as I am doing good so far by not dropping a tear though I'm sure I will, but I made the decision to had her put down the next day because her quality of life was severely suffering(insert tear). I had never put my own horse down before and unfortunately, Savvy would be my first, but not my last. Savvy was alot of my "firsts" and I will be in her debt forever. It's hard having animals in your family to know when the time is right to help them cross over. If we are lucky, they will peacefully pass in their sleep but most of the time we aren't that fortunate. It is our responsibility as humans to not let them suffer, but that's very hard to do. We need to ask ourselves if we are helping them, when they are sick or hurt, because it will make them feel better or make ourselves feel better. Emotion definitely gets in the way of logic and "the right thing to do" and it is much easier to make a decision when it's not your animal. 
     I also have a very hard time with death, which is part of life's circle. The older I get, the more I am faced with it. Matt and I have lost three family members in just over a year, Joleen, Savvy and Peanut. Each one has been hard and we know that we will eventually lose Evie, Pal, Ebony, Owen, Gandalf and all of other future furry family members. Then there is of course our human friends and family that we will lose, but that's a topic for another blog.
     I know for a fact that animals deal with death very much like humans do as I witnessed first hand with Evie. She was totally depressed and sunk within herself for many months after Savvy's death. She would stand on the other side of the fence where Savvy was buried for weeks on end until she slowly started to come out of her funk. She has come A LONG way in a year and those closest to us can attest to it. As my friend Lindsey said, "Evie is having more good days now than bad", which is so true, both mentally and physically. 
     I want to tell you a story that happened to me a few weeks ago with Evie and Savvy. I was very sick but felt the need to take Evie on a hack as I needed the fresh air and we both needed the attention. I tacked her up,which about killed me, and got on. I told her that today she was totally in charge. Anyone that knows Evie knows that she and I have a constant struggle with "who's the boss". All I wanted to do was go for a walk but she needed to take care of me for once as I have been taking care of her for the past year. We normally have a routine by getting on in the arena and going out to a pasture and taking a long walk before we start with whatever I have planned. She marched out, my hand was on the buckle of the reins, and started walking where have never walked on the property. She went behind the house, by the muck pile and around the back of the property to where Savvy had been lain to rest. If I weren't hopped up on cold meds and home alone, I would of gone all the way back there, but I know for a fact that she wanted to go visit Savvy. I discounted the thought for a minute but realized that she knew exactly where she was going. I turned her around to go back to our original hacking spot and she tried her hardest to turn around and go back to Savvy. We have not gone back their together yet but this weekend she and I will go back there together to pay our respects to our sister and friend(insert tear). Those that think animals, especially horses, don't have feelings are in denial. They truly are magical creatures and we are blessed to have them in our lives. I was blessed to have Savvy in my life for seven years. There's not a day that goes by that Evie and I don't miss her.
     Remember to be good to your furry family members and do the right thing when it's their time if they need your help. If you are worried that you won't know when, they will let you know. 

In loving memory of my beautiful Savoir Faire(insert tear)

1994-Oct 31, 2012