Responsibility

     A year ago today, I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. Savvy's health had been unfortunately deteriorating due to melanomas and  it ended up affecting her neurologically. I don't want to rehash the details, as I am doing good so far by not dropping a tear though I'm sure I will, but I made the decision to had her put down the next day because her quality of life was severely suffering(insert tear). I had never put my own horse down before and unfortunately, Savvy would be my first, but not my last. Savvy was alot of my "firsts" and I will be in her debt forever. It's hard having animals in your family to know when the time is right to help them cross over. If we are lucky, they will peacefully pass in their sleep but most of the time we aren't that fortunate. It is our responsibility as humans to not let them suffer, but that's very hard to do. We need to ask ourselves if we are helping them, when they are sick or hurt, because it will make them feel better or make ourselves feel better. Emotion definitely gets in the way of logic and "the right thing to do" and it is much easier to make a decision when it's not your animal. 
     I also have a very hard time with death, which is part of life's circle. The older I get, the more I am faced with it. Matt and I have lost three family members in just over a year, Joleen, Savvy and Peanut. Each one has been hard and we know that we will eventually lose Evie, Pal, Ebony, Owen, Gandalf and all of other future furry family members. Then there is of course our human friends and family that we will lose, but that's a topic for another blog.
     I know for a fact that animals deal with death very much like humans do as I witnessed first hand with Evie. She was totally depressed and sunk within herself for many months after Savvy's death. She would stand on the other side of the fence where Savvy was buried for weeks on end until she slowly started to come out of her funk. She has come A LONG way in a year and those closest to us can attest to it. As my friend Lindsey said, "Evie is having more good days now than bad", which is so true, both mentally and physically. 
     I want to tell you a story that happened to me a few weeks ago with Evie and Savvy. I was very sick but felt the need to take Evie on a hack as I needed the fresh air and we both needed the attention. I tacked her up,which about killed me, and got on. I told her that today she was totally in charge. Anyone that knows Evie knows that she and I have a constant struggle with "who's the boss". All I wanted to do was go for a walk but she needed to take care of me for once as I have been taking care of her for the past year. We normally have a routine by getting on in the arena and going out to a pasture and taking a long walk before we start with whatever I have planned. She marched out, my hand was on the buckle of the reins, and started walking where have never walked on the property. She went behind the house, by the muck pile and around the back of the property to where Savvy had been lain to rest. If I weren't hopped up on cold meds and home alone, I would of gone all the way back there, but I know for a fact that she wanted to go visit Savvy. I discounted the thought for a minute but realized that she knew exactly where she was going. I turned her around to go back to our original hacking spot and she tried her hardest to turn around and go back to Savvy. We have not gone back their together yet but this weekend she and I will go back there together to pay our respects to our sister and friend(insert tear). Those that think animals, especially horses, don't have feelings are in denial. They truly are magical creatures and we are blessed to have them in our lives. I was blessed to have Savvy in my life for seven years. There's not a day that goes by that Evie and I don't miss her.
     Remember to be good to your furry family members and do the right thing when it's their time if they need your help. If you are worried that you won't know when, they will let you know. 

In loving memory of my beautiful Savoir Faire(insert tear)

1994-Oct 31, 2012

.....that very small silver lining....can you see it?

     I'm sure you've had those days where you wanted to re-do, start over or just fast forward to the next day. We've all had them, sometimes more often than others. You can call it bad luck, luck of the draw or just the way the universe has it set out to happen. I went through a period in my life that I felt like almost every day was a bad day. I didn't want to get out of bed and face it and I didn't want to go to bed because when I would wake up, it would be there staring me in the face.

     When I lived in Montana, I began to sell Arbonne natural skin care products. My "up-line" gave me a book called "The Secret". If you haven't read it yet, it's really a modern day "Power of Positive Thinking" and if you haven't read that either, you need to get your hands on one of them. I read "The Secret" and felt good about life for a while. It would happen that I would find that book a few years later when I truly needed it.

     During my difficult years, I thought everyone was out to get me and nothing would go my way....well, that's just it! It wasn't going to go my way if I kept thinking like that! What a concept!!! I started one day of thinking of just one thing about the day that didn't go wrong. At first I started off that I had a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in, the basic needs that we need to survive. Slowly, my positive thinking would take over half of my day and eventually my entire day. I had a whole new outlook on life and what do you know, my luck changed! But really, it's not luck. I was getting back what I was putting in. I was putting positive energy into the universe and in return, it rewarded me with positive energy or "good luck".

     Now, whenever I have a situation that happens because I rarely have an entire bad day anymore, I try to think of the silver lining, no matter how small it is. I had a situation happen on Sunday that wasn't ideal. Honestly, once it was over, I cried and cried, more because of how I handled the situation, NOT because of the actual situation. It took me a bit but I had to really look hard and have help from some great friends to find that silver lining. Once I found it, I realized how true their comments were about what happened. It made me laugh a bit that I had gotten so upset but I looked back to a year ago in how I would of handled it. 

     So take a minute in a bad situation to find that silver lining EVERY DAY....."I didn't kill my co-worker today" or "I didn't flip that guy off who cut me off" or even as simple as "I woke up today....period!"

     Here are some inspirational quotes for you to ponder over.
 
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."-Abraham Lincoln

"Appreciate every little beautiful moment in every day of your life. Give it a try and you'll see the world from a different perspective." -Thea Kristine May

A Tribute to Working Moms

     There has been a lot of posts, articles and blogs that I have seen on FB about stay at home moms and everyone give a shout out to the stay at home moms. I'm not here to argue and say that stay at home moms don't work, because they surely do. They might not get a paycheck and pay taxes but they surely do work. I'll give them that and that is a job I would never want to have.
     I'll be the FIRST to admit that I hate all types of house work...cooking, cleaning, laundry, you name it! When Matt and I moved in together I  made it very clear that I'm not Betty Crocker and I'm a horrible house keeper. Over two years later after living together, he will definitely agree with me. And no, I don't really plan on changing. We both do the things around the house that needs to be done but I don't thrive on a neat house, much less a spotless one and thank goodness he doesn't require one. Unless I could afford someone to come in and clean my house every week, it's not an easy task to keep up after 4 fuzzy animals that live in the house with us, so we are comfortable with the occasional tumbleweed of hair that floats by us on a regular basis. But let's not get me too much off topic because I want to give a shout out to working moms.
     Again, let me say that stay at home moms truly work hard but I want to focus on the working mom and we can even use my mom for an example. Fortunately, my mom had a great job with a flexible schedule, so did my dad. My mom worked because she had to and really because she loved her job and career. Even to this day, after working the SAME JOB for over 30 years, she still loves her job. If you didn't know, my mom is a speech pathologist. She gets to work with undergraduate and graduate students at the university in helping them become SLPs as well as see her own patients, both minors and adults. Students change, patients change, which keeps things new and fresh for her. I admire her for working in a profession for over 40 years and still enjoying it.
     Even with my mom working, she and my dad provided home cooked meals for us 5-6 nights a weeks and almost every evening we ate as a family. She was at every volleyball match, horse show, softball game and swim meet that I played in. She was home with us at night and on the weekends. She was there when we really needed her AND she worked. Honestly, even if they were financially able to, my mom would of worked part time, because she wanted to.
     There are so many women out there that have to work but then there are women who truly want a working career, no matter what it is and they make it happen if they want a career and a family. My mom was one of those. I"m not sure if I ever have told her this, but watching my mom work, gave me a work ethic and showed me that you really can do it all and have it all but you can't expect it to be handed to you. But the most important thing she taught me was to always ask because the worst thing someone can tell you is "No"!! Who has heard me say that?! ;-)
     I'm sure my mom learned from her mom about a work ethic as my grandma always worked as well. Even my paternal grandmother always had a job, as a butcher until she retired and went back to school in her 50s and became an nursing assistant.  It gives me comfort knowing that the important women in my family worked.
     It also gives you financial comfort. We you get married, you hope that it is forever but sometimes it doesn't work out. If it doesn't work out, you know that you can support yourself. Unfortunately, my mom and I had to be on our own after marriages not working and it has given us comfort knowing that we can take care of ourselves financially.
     So ladies, if you are a working mother, no matter if you have to be or because you want to be, know that you are showing your children important values and be proud of what you are teaching them. Thanks Mom, Grandma Monty and Grandma Rosie for your amazing attitudes and love that you gave me, even while you were working.

 This is my favorite picture of the three of us though my mom doesn't like it for some reason. 

circa 2005?

 Not the best of Grandma but taken in 2009

April 2013

Thankful for the small things!

Every day when I wake up and when I go to bed, I try really hard to think of all the things I am thankful for. Some people may call that praying but I'm not fond of that word, so I call it different things depending on who I am speaking with and what time of day it is whether I say reflecting or sending positive thoughts or energy. Whatever you want to call it and whoever you want to "talk to", in my mind it's all the same thing. Some people call themselves religious but I consider myself spiritual as long as you have faith in something or someone. I don't need to go to church to be spiritual and know there is a higher power in our universe and some people do. I know that I have felt closer to a higher power in many other places than I have ever felt in a church. So off of my soap box....

The first thing I always think to myself is that I am thankful for a bed to sleep in. I know that sounds silly but I get to sleep on a Temperpedic and there are some people out there that don't have a bed at all. I always try to be thankful for food, healthcare, a good job, my health, etc but there are so many things that I am thankful for...But one of the main things I am always thankful for is my family. Yes, my parents, my brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, etc and of course MATT and My Furry Fuzz Balls! I don't know what I would do without them. Here is a picture of our recent family photo shoot, which we had a lot of fun with thanks to Kristen King. Check out her blog at www.kristenione.com.

Always remember to be thankful for every little thing you have no matter how big or small!

The food....

     So we are at the end of the first day of our conference at work and the food was A-MAZ-ING as I mentioned before. Being with my co-workers today re-confirms that I work with some A-MAZ-ING people! We all get along, work well together, compliment each other and even bicker like brothers and sisters. I think it was very successful first day. I wish I had a picture of all of us but thanks for being awesome co-workers Becky, Kristen, Jerome, Amy, Susan, Stephanie and Rachel. I may not have gotten a picture of my awesome peeps but here is a picture of our awesome caterer and their decoration for us today in the afternoon snack.

Bring on the Food!

     The next two days will be long days at work as we have a very important conference being hosted in our building. Thankfully, I work with some amazing people and we all have our important parts in this conference. This is the third year that we have hosted this conference  and each year we get better. The days are long, very long but the one thing that keeps us going is THE FOOD!
     We use a phenomenal caterer that not only has great food but great service and knows us so well that they bring us To-Go boxes. Now that's what I call service! We will be having a morning break, lunch and afternoon break on Thursday followed by a BBQ dinner at The Chitwoods home and then morning break and lunch on Friday. Even though we are all tired and want to go home, the food is AM-A-ZING!! Southern BBQ, cobbler, the works....the amount of calories that we ingest over a 32 hour period is ridiculous but it's worth it! At least I'll get a work out in before the BBQ on Thursday.
     On a complete opposite note, Kristen King, who photographed our family photo shoot texted me a few pictures last night. They are sooooo good! I can't wait to share them out to people. She took over 1,000 pictures, no lie! First she did the dogs and me, then Evie and me, then the dogs, Evie and me, then the dogs, Evie, Matt and me and finally, we took all the animals away and took some of just Matt and me. I don't know if my mom is going to read this but I hope all of my grammar was correct Mom, as she is still correcting my grammar at 35. I try hard, but I always get confused on who comes first in sentences. Anyway, look soon for some super fun pictures. I had her take a very special one, but didn't tell her because I would start crying. She took a picture of Evie and me with the last pair of shoes that Savvy wore hanging over a fence rail. I'm very anxious to see those. Matt even had a good time as we did some silly pictures as well....bahahaha, to those that know! 
     I can't get in both a workout and work Evie tonight, so I'm choosing some quality time with my pony and then to bed early.

I can't wait to tell you about the huge amount of heartburn that I will be getting from my ridiculous caloric intake but man, it's worth it. Kristen, Amy, Becky, Jerome, Stephanie, Rachel and Susan will all agree with me!

A different approach

     I'm all for alternative medicine for both myself and our animals. Matt is as well since he's allergic to almost everything. I'm pretty good about taking my vitamins to make sure I'm not deficient in anything but sometimes your body needs more than some additional vitamins and supplements. 
     I was diagnosed in the summer of 2013 with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome....say WHAT?! Exactly! I was having a lot of numbness in my left side due to an artery being pinched up against my first rib. The specialist that I went to wanted to remove part of my first rib.....say WHAT?! Exactly! I chose to go an alternative route, massage therapy. Yeah, well, it's not all oooo's and aahhhh's that you think, my therapist literally kicks my butt and most of it is very painful but it's worth it. The first 6-8 weeks I was going almost every week and then every two weeks and then once a month. I now maintain it every 6 weeks or so. And what do you know, I haven't had any symptoms for over 8 months now. So when the Dr. says, let's cut-cha open...try another route.
     I also use osteopathy and more recently, massage therapy on Evie. Lord knows, she needs all the help she can get. I was even lucky enough to win a Reiki session for Evie. Check out Martha Holcomb and Equine Wellness Therapy http://hollybrookappaloosasllc.com/equine-wellness/
 I've had Reiki performed on me and it was quite intense! Evie thought it was quite spectacular as well.
     With every think that is going on with healthcare right now, be willing to try new approaches for both you and your animals. I know that Matt and I try to eat and live healthy as much as we can but sometimes those dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme or that large pizza NEEDS to be eaten. I take the liberty for both Matt and me and eat all of it because you know a boy's gotta watch his figure;-)

Live healthy and work out but eat pancakes, not rice cakes!
Off to my massage!